Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Purple Dresses

The other day my kids got into quite the fight over a misunderstanding.  I'm sure my kids are not unique in this, but I wanted them to see the 2 sides to the story, so I told them this anecdote...

One day my friend Katie & I were both wearing purple dresses.  Our friend April was with us, & at one point she said, "I really don't like purple dresses."

Later that day, Katie was thinking about what April had said, & it really bothered her.  She let it bother her the next day, & into the next week as well.  Katie started to think, I'm really angry April!  She didn't like my dress, & she doesn't want to be my friend anymore!

I also started thinking about what April had said about our dresses, & at first I was hurt by it too, but then I thought, April is my friend, & she wouldn't want to just say rude things to me to hurt my feelings.  Maybe she meant that she just doesn't like to wear purple dresses herself! 

The next time I saw April we had a great time together.  We played with Lego & made weird creations, & laughed about what they looked like. 

When April & Katie saw each other, Katie was so mad at April!  Katie said all kinds of mean things to April, & April started to cry!  When we asked Katie why she was being so mean, she said it was because April had been mean to her first, by saying she didn't like Katie's dress.

April then explained, "I once had a purple dress that my mother made me wear, & it was so itchy!  Now every time I see a purple dress, it reminds me of how itchy that one was, & I just don't like them!"

The kids & I discussed which person had dealt with what April had said in the best way.  I told them, "This is something that will happen often in your lives.  In fact, I had a situation like this happen to me again in the last week, but I thought about who had said it, & knowing that she is my friend, I knew that she didn't mean to hurt my feelings, so I decided to forget about it.  But it kept bothering me, so I went to my friend, & asked what she meant, & she explained that she wasn't trying to hurt me, she was just trying to be funny!"

Think the Best of Others.  People generally aren't trying to hurt you!

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