Twenty Years!

This post is all about the numbers...

Chad & I are celebrating our 20th Wedding Anniversary today, so I thought I'd compile some of the things we have done in the second half of my life!

We have had a few pets
2 cats
2 dogs
4 fish

plus lots of farm cats, some with names, some not.

 We've owned quite a few vehicles, & not one of them was wrecked!
1 SUV
2 Trucks
6 Cars
13 Motorbikes

Now, considering when I met Chad he was planning on being a farmer, which was perfect since I didn't want to move a lot, our life has not gone according to plan in that department!

We have lived in
1 State
3 Countries
4 Provinces

Many types of homes

1 Parsonage
1 Housesit
2 Co-Housing
4 Apartments

5 Houses

Which required
13 Change of Address Forms
10 Home phone numbers
8 Cell Phone Numbers

We have travelled quite a bit, & made it to
13 countries
19 Passports (including the kids')
11 years of documenting every trip outside of Canada for immigration (there were 28)

We have completed
4 Degrees
2 Certificates
(though none are mine, I still get to count them!)

We have had a total of
10 job titles
and worked for
14 Employers

We have hosted
5 homestay students
and we made
2 kids (We doubled the size of our family!)

Our life is certainly much different from what we had planned, but there's no one I'd rather be on this journey with! During one of the first major life-changing moves we were embarking on, one of my co-workers asked, "So, Chad's going to do that, but are you going to go with him?"

I answered, "Yes, of course I am. We're married!"

When my co-worker replied, "But that's not what you signed up for when you married him."

When we got married, I literally signed up for him. I never signed a contract to be a farmer's wife, or live in a certain place, but I did sign a vow that I'd be married to Chad for whatever comes in life, good or bad. We're not the same people we were when we got married 20 years ago (thankfully!), but all our experiences have brought us closer, since the only thing that has stayed the same through all of this is that we are in it together.

It will be interesting to see how the numbers will change in the next 20 years...

Definition Please

I’m not sure how it got brought up, but the other day at breakfast someone said they were going to ‘Hook Up’ with someone.  PChad said, “Well, that isn’t a good thing to do, so you shouldn’t do that.”

 

Asher: “Why, what does it mean?”

 

I listened intently, wondering how this conversation was going to go…

 

PChad: “It means a man & a lady who aren’t married, trying to make a baby together.”

 

Asher: “But they can’t!  You need a mommy & a daddy to make a baby!”

 

PChad: “Well, it means they are doing something they aren’t supposed to do before they are married.”

 

There was a brief moment of silence, then Asher said, “My brain is fizzing.”

 

Then the older boys admitted they had no idea that that is what ‘Hooking Up’ meant.  They thought it meant to meet up with some friends.  That demonstrates how important it is to fully understand slang before you go around using it!

The Long Goodbye

PChad left yesterday morning for the Shore 2 Shore with a Roar motorcycle ride.  Thankfully he had decided not to leave too early since he wanted to stop in Moncton & buy some waterproof gloves.  He had been gone for about an hour when I happened to look in the place where we keep our passports.  I knew he was planning on driving through Maine, so he’d need his passport, but I wondered if he had remembered to take it.  I looked, & there it was.

 

I tried to text & call his cell phone, figuring he might stop & check his phone before he crossed the bridge, or maybe he even remembered about his passport & would take his phone out to call me.  After about 10 minutes I knew I either had to follow him, or he’d have to just stay in Canada…

 

I quickly told the kids to get their shoes & coats on because we had to bring Daddy his passport.  Of course I also had to stop for gas!  We tried calling PChad’s phone every 10 minutes, hoping I’d get ahold of him before I crossed the bridge & had to pay the $45 toll.  But we had no such luck.  I got to the bridge, & figured I might as well keep going & keep trying his phone.  Chancery had to go to the washroom, so we had another small detour, then soldiered on!

 

We started calling his phone every 5 minutes instead, knowing that we were probably just going to end up making his phone go dead.  Then I got the bright idea to call the motorcycle shop where I knew he was planning on stopping.  I described PChad to the sales guy, & PChad happened to still be there!  PChad was a little confused when the sales guy told him, “You can run, but you can’t hide!  Your wife’s on the phone for you!”  At that point I was only about 45 minutes behind him, so PChad decided to wait for me at the nearby Tim Horton’s.  So, the kids & I got to say goodbye to PChad twice!

 

I had left the Henry & Vincent (our Taiwanese home-stay students) at home since I can’t take them out of province without prior notification, so now that I knew I was going all the way to Moncton & back, I called Miss Geesje to see if she could go pick the boys up & take them to the farm.  Thankfully she agreed & it all worked out!  Then since I knew the older boys were taken care of, & I had driven the 2 hours & spent the bridge toll to get to Moncton, I figured I should make the most of it, so we stopped at Costco & Value Village before heading back home!  The roads were not the nicest, with lots of rain, & mist the whole way, so I also treated myself to a Starbucks for all my troubles!

 

At bedtime we always ask the kids to say their 3 favourite parts of the day & then we pray about them.  Asher said, “Lunch at Costco, right now, & definitely not driving to Moncton!”

Offspring

Yesterday I was driving the kids home after picking Asher up from school.  I’m not sure if they had been reading Bible stories that morning, but Asher began the conversation like so:

 

Asher: “When I grow up & have a baby boy, I’m going to name him ‘Judas’.”

 

Chancery: “And when I grow up to be a lady & have a girl, I’m going to name her ‘Judas’ too.”

 

Asher: “No, Chancery, you can’t name her ‘Judas’, because then there would be TWO Judases & that would be too confusing!”

 

Me: “When you grow up & have a baby, you can decide with your wife what to name your baby.”

 

At this point the conversation went quiet for awhile, then Asher spoke up again…

 

Asher: “Chancery said it was ok to name it ‘Judas’.”

 

Me: “Chancery is your sister, she can’t be your wife.”

 

Asher: “Well then who’s going to be my wife?”

If Only I Would Have Known…

When PChad & I got married, we decided to get a video made.  At the time, there weren't a whole lot of options in the realm of wedding videography, about the only thing separating different companies was the price, so we went with what we could afford.

 

Of course 11 years later, we never watch the video, and it sits collecting dust on a shelf.  Watching a wedding ceremony in it's entirety just doesn't sound like a fun thing to do on a Friday night.  Had THIS been an option, I think the story would have been quite different.

 

Your Wedding Video Sucks is a company that wants to change how wedding videos are made, and the end result is art.  They do both wedding and engagement videos, and if you're in the market for one of these, you should definitely check them out!

The Castle Wedding from Justin Metcalfe on Vimeo.

 

 

The Fleming Wedding from Justin Metcalfe on Vimeo.

Improvising

I have never enjoyed cooking.  When we first got married I was thrown into the role of “home chef” since PChad was going to school full time & working on the farm, & immigration laws kept me from doing anything.

So, I attempted to learn to cook, but no matter how hard I tried, it seemed that my meat dishes were always over cooked.  My MIL stepped in in an attempt to not see her son wither away to nothing, and under her tutelage I learned that cooking was going to take a lot of work.

See, I grew up baking, and I had learned that measurements had to be precise, recipes had to be followed.  I knew my baking spices, but had never learned much about cooking.  I had no idea what half the spices on my spice rack tasted like, or how to pair them.

My MIL is an AWESOME cook.  She can look through her cupboard, see what’s there & whip something up.  I, on the other hand, have to look at a recipe, see that I have all the ingredients on hand & follow the directions to a T.  And I still have trouble cooking meat.

So, she tried to teach me, her methods being more of a “add spices ‘til it tastes good,” & “cook it until it’s done.”  One time we needed to make a few stews, so we assembled them together & I took mine home to cook it.  Hers was great, mine not so much.  I think I have a gift.

A few weeks ago I was making lasagne & realized that I didn’t have enough mozzarella for the top layer, so I decided it was time to improvise & use the cheese that I did have… string cheese.


And at dinner that night I discovered something about myself… I still don’t have a clue.  It was the most rubbery lasagne I’ve ever had, and I don’t mean that in a good way.  We had to scrape the top layer off because it was that bad.  I think I’ll just stick with the recipes’ instructions from now on.

Good Night, Honey

The other night PChad had gone to bed before me & as I was getting my PJs on I heard him say, "Could you please try to be quiet?"

I responded, "I am."

PChad: "Could you be more successful?"

Me: "No, I don't think so."

At least I got a chuckle out of him!

A Housework Analogy

A few weeks ago at Coffee Break we were talking about how our relationship with Christ is something that we have to maintain & work at. It's a bit different from our relationship with our spouse b/c our spouse is physically present to remind us if we haven't spent enough time together & the effects of it can be a bit more obvious.

It got me thinking that living in relationship w/ Christ is a bit like cleaning house. It's not something that you can do once (accept Him into your life) & figure it's good. Rather it's something we have to keep working at. We have to keep asking Him to renew us & consciously keep Him as the number one priority in our lives.

Image what it would be like if you went on one date w/ a guy, then he asked you to marry him, you said, yes, but never saw him again. It wouldn't be much of a relationship, would it?

A Balanced Marriage

The other night I lovingly slaved away over the stove making dinner for my beloved family. It was ok, as far as my meals go (not too many are stellar, I'm still learning how to cook). PChad & I were finished, & Asher was figuring out what he could do w/ his food BESIDES eat it.

PChad asked Asher if he'd like dessert (as a motivational tool to get him to eat his dinner), turned to me & said, "I'd like a little bit of ice cream."

I looked right back at him & said, "So would I."

We stared lovingly at one another for a few secoonds before I added, "I cooked dinner."

He replied indignantly, "What is this, a transaction marriage? You do something nice & I demand a favour?"

"Wait, that's not the way I meant it..... I'll get the ice cream."

Would You Like Some Pie?

The other night I had to bring Chancery up to bed at the end of our dinnertime, so Asher & PChad had dessert w/o me. I had bought some Pecan Pie b/c it was in the 50% off bin at the grocery store, and b/c I LOVE pecan pie, you can bet that I was going to make sure I got some later that evening.

When I finally made it back downstairs, Asher & PChad were finished & had started playing, so I found the container on the counter, opened it up, & this is what greeted me:

Honestly, who on EARTH cuts pie like this? He might not be perfect, but he keeps me laughing!

NINE Years!

It's hard to believe, but Chad & I have been married nine years today. Neither one of us would have been able to predict what has happened in the last nine years. Chad was going to be a farmer, & I his farmin' wife. He had 3 years of University to finish when we got married, we actually moved out onto the farm after a year of living in town, & life was good. We thought we'd wait until he was finished school before we started having kids b/c it was easier that way & I wasn't allowed to work for the first year & 1/2 b/c of immigration laws.

After he finished his Bachelor's degree, we felt that God was calling us to something different for awhile, but figured we'd still eventually come back to the farm. Chad's interests were in Economics & Philosophy, so we kind of put God to the test & applied to the only 2 schools in the world that had combined Master degree programs, figuring Chad wouldn't make it into them..... He got into both. One at Erasmus University in Rotterdam, Netherlands, & the other at the London School of Economics in London, England. After much deliberation, we decided to go to London & spent the next 14 months in England.

Without having many connections over there, we quickly learned to rely on God. We had no place to live after the first 6 weeks, housing was expensive, & I was only able to get a part-time job b/c of the working culture over there. One night after a church service, Chad happened to speak to a visitor from just outside of the city, who was enamoured w/ Canada & they got to chatting about out housing situation. Without even checking w/ his wife, he invited us to come & live w/ them!

We took them up on the offer b/c we didn't really have any other viable options at that time & we quickly became part of their family. They made us feel very welcomed & really showed us God's love during the next year.

At the end of Chad's Master's program we had two options for our future:
1. Chad was offered a PhD position in Logic at King's University College, London, which would basically take 2-3 years & lead to him becoming a professor.
2. We could go back to the farm in Alberta as we had planned.

Neither option really seemed to be what we were supposed to do, so one night, Chad asked God to tell him where we were supposed to go & God laid it on his heart to go into the ministry. Not exactly what we had in mind, but God had really been working in our lives through the family we were living with & made it possible for us to see it as a possibility (but it was still totally out of the blue). At this point we had been married 4 years & Chad had changed his major at least 4 times, so I don't think I really thought he'd end up as a minister. I still figured it would lead to something else, since that seemed to be the pattern.

Now, here we are, married 9 years, expecting our 2nd child next month & Chad's taking his first call as a minister! We figured we'd have 3-4 kids by now, live at the farm/feedlot, & we'd be established in life, but instead we are just starting out! Ten years after Chad's highschool graduation, he's taking his first job w/ benefits!

It has really taught us that you can't foresee the future, only God knows where He's going to take you & you have to trust Him at every turn. That year we spent in England was one of the best we've had b/c it taught us to depend on eachother & rely on God. For the first 6 weeks we were there I earned £198/week, & our rent was £200/week. We were using money we had saved from home in Canada for our food, but the exchange rate was C$2.50 = £1.00, so to conserve our resources we were sharing a can of frank&beans for dinner, or Spaghetti-Os, or a package of Raman Noodles.... Times were lean, but we had the best time walking around together exploring the big city in our cowboy boots & God brought us to a great place b/c we trusted Him.