Wednesday, 21 March 2007

Good Friends

I feel like I don't really have any good friends around me. I really miss the old kind of friendships I used to have when I was younger. Where you just hang out and talk face to face and your friends understand where you're coming from and if you maybe say something stupid, they still know what you're really trying to say. I guess maybe it's just hard to feel really connected to someone when you only talk to them on the phone once a week... or month.... or maybe less. I'll give you an example of what I mean. We'll call my friend "Amy".

Amy and I grew up together and used to hang out all the time. We were really close. Practically sisters. Now we maybe talk on the phone every 2-3 months. Most the conversation ends up being about old times and the fun we had. That lasts about 10 minutes or so. Now I'm married and have a kid and she is still single. What do we have in common? Old times. But I still consider her one of my closest friends. Maybe she doesn't consider me all that close anymore, I don't know. We did see each other a while ago and even then it was kinda awkward. What do we talk about? If we just me now would we ever forge a friendship or was it just that we had things in common way back when? The main problem now is distance. If we lived close by, we could do things together and keep the friendship current, but we don't and there isn't much we can do about that.

I have another friend "Deb" who lives in town. I used to work with her, but now I am a stay at home mom. She switched companies, so I can't go visit her at work anymore. She isn't married and has no kids. She'd say she's kind of nervous around kids. Asher is a big part of my day/life now. How do we stay close? She works all day, so we can't get together then. Often in the evenings she isn't free until later, 7 or after. I am then trying to give Asher his bath and get him in bed. I don't want to stay out too late b/c there will be no sleeping-in in the morning. When Asher gets up, I have to as well.

So, what am I to do? How do I stay current with my friends that don't live close? How can I remain close to those friends who are living nearby, but who are in different stages of life? Do I just have to get all new friends each time I enter a new phase of life and wait until my old friends catch up? What about my friends in other states/countries? Do I just leave them behind?


  1. Your current situation is very difficult and very true. Trust me.... I totaly understand!!

    Let's just say that I still think about my best friends from years ago as best friends. I try to think that we will again get together to visit. The trick is to not just talk about the old stuff (sometimes it's good but should be kept short), current stuff, and what you plan to work on for the future. I think remiscing about the old stuff helps to stray our minds from the time that's elapsed and any current stresses.

    Anyhow, you should hold onto all of your friends. Time will always make things change in one way or enother. Even if you don't talk or communicate often (as I know I'm horrible in that department) you should at least have a way to contact the other person/people.

    Heck, I've been known to send cards to people c/o their parents address. If I don't hear back after that I just consider them an old friend, not a lost one.

    Love ya

  2. It's funny, Sherilyn, I think I've read a couple of your posts, But since you asked who reads your blog, I went back to the beginning to check if I had read them. I hadn't read this one. It's from quite a while ago too. But I'm commenting on it now because it makes so much sense. When I moved back to the town where I grew up and where I went to college, I got really overwhelmed. Sometimes still, it's like "too many people!!" When I was in Grand Rapids, I only had a few people to keep up with and I got to see y'all every week! Now . . . it's not quite so neat and easy . . . . there's been a lot of good things, and I don't know that it's necessarily that I don't like where I am, but it's sure different!