Yesterday morning I received a phone call from my Aunt. My cousin (who I have been helping to clean out Grandma's attic), had called our Aunt in a bit of hysterics, because she had found a mouse nest in her dresser drawer. My Aunt asked if I could call my cousin to see if there was anything I could do to talk her out of tearing her room apart in fear of the Hantavirus.
I messaged my cousin, "I heard you had an excellent start to your weekend"
Her reply, "Super, Super great"
I decided it would be best to just Skype her, to get to the bottom of just how serious this was.
"So, a mouse nest?"
"Yep, I only found it because I accidently opened the wrong drawer. I haven't opened this drawer since October, so I have no idea how long it's been there."
"You need to change your underwear more often than that."
"Haha, it's not my underwear drawer!"
"I guess it must have heard that you wanted all the mice out of Grandma's attic, so it decided to move in with you."
"That's not funny."
I can tell she is distraught. "Do you need help?"
"That would be awesome!"
I had an open morning, so I decided to head on down to the States to help her out. When I cross the border I am always entertained by the ritual of being questioned by the border guards, & this was no exception.
Guard: "What brings you down to the States today?"
"My cousin found a mouse nest in her dresser drawer."
"Doesn't she have a man in her life?"
"Her dad thinks she's over reacting."
"I see... Good luck!"
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I arrived & we donned gloves, ready for the task at hand. The offending mouse had made her nest in the middle drawer of the 3 drawer chest. The drawer was already pulled halfway open, displaying it's soft nest made of fluff painstakingly pulled from the bed's boxspring, & carried to the other corner of the room, lovingly placed upon my cousin's seldom used halloween costumes. I pulled the drawer the rest of the way out & put it on the deck, & went back for the top drawer. As I removed the top drawer, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, & perhaps a tail, but it was hard to know. Was I imagining things?
I handed the drawer to my cousin, & said, "I think the mouse might still be in the dresser."
"Are you serious?"
"Now I'm hearing noises from under the drawer, so I'm 99% sure it's in here."
"I'm getting the cat!"
She brought the cat into the room & quickly shut the door... but she remained outside of the room! In the meantime I had commandeered a plastic shopping bag in which to trap the mouse since it was still inside the dresser frame. It was woman & beast versus smaller but quicker beast. The event was on! I brought the cat over to the closet where the dresser was, & took out the final drawer. "Ok, cat, do your thing!"
Apparently the cat's thing had nothing to do with catching mice, but had more to do with removing herself from the room. She promptly went to sit by the door. I picked her back up & plopped her back down by the now skeletal frame of the dresser. "Just jump in there & get the mouse!"
I'm pretty sure I heard the cat mutter "Go right ahead..."
At this point I called my cousin back in the room. I needed reinforcements stronger than a disinterested cat. We brainstormed a bit...
"Should we try to catch it?"
"With what?"
"Do you have a butterfly net?"
"No."
"Do we try to hit it with something?"
"Like what?"
"A spatula? Or step on it?"
"I'll get you some boots."
"That might be helpful."
At this point I was only wearing socks. She returned with boots, a piece of cardboard & a yardstick. In all the lack of excitement on the cat's part I had lost track of our dear pet mouse, so we carefully checked & removed each & every shoe from the other half of the closet. Our mouse was not in the bottom of the closet... Had she climbed up onto the top shelf? Was she in the folds of the clothes hanging in the closet?
We stayed still for awhile & heard some mouse-like noises from under the desk beside the closet. We shone the flashlight under the desk & slowly removed items from below the desk until we had gotten everything out & the mouse decided to head back into the dresser she knew & loved. Our plan at this point was not a good one, but it was our plan. My cousin would shine the light at the mouse, I would reach into the frame of the dresser with the plastic shopping bag over my hand & grab the mouse!
"Try not to get bitten!"
"Great idea!"
I reached in. The mouse didn't move. I got my hand closer. The mouse didn't move. I shot my hand out & grabbed... NOTHING! At the last second she had moved to the front corner! We repositioned, sized each other up once again. Time for the second attempt. Maybe I should just go for it right away... GRAB!
I felt something furry touch my elbow. I may or may not have yelped.
Now the mouse was on the other half of the closet floor. We were very glad we had already taken all the shoes out. All that was left were a few small plastic boxes, which we surrounded her with.
"Maybe we should try to trap her in something like a spider."
"Instead of bashing her on the head with the garbage can, we could trap her in it! We really should have a camera crew follow us around. Can you imagine how fun that would be?"
My cousin helpfully handed me the metal, vintage, Peanuts garbage can. I acted fast & successfully trapped the mouse! I could hear her scrabbling from inside the can!
"I got it! Hand me the cardboard!"
"It has a hole in it, make sure it doesn't get out the hole!"
I slid the cardboard under the garbage can, & picked up the can with the mouse & held the cardboard tightly underneath. Then I quickly flipped the whole contraption over hearing a satisfying 'thump' when I did so.
"Ok, what do you want to do with it?"
"If we let it go in the field, it'll probably just come back."
"How do you want to kill it?"
"I don't know."
"Do you have a hose?"
"I'm not really comfortable with drowning it."
"We won't be able to thump it with something. It's too fast!"
"Ok, I'll get the hose."
"And bring your phone. We really need to get this on video."
"You want to make a video of us drowning a mouse?"
"Maybe not. But we can take a picture after we do it to prove to your dad that you weren't overreacting!"
"Ok, I'll meet you by the hose."
We slid the cardboard just enough so we could fit the end of the hose through the hole & filled the garbage can about halfway. I know if we filled it too much the cardboard would get wet, & I didn't want the mouse to be able to get out that way. We heard some scratching on the side of the can, then it got quiet. I sloshed the can a bit back & forth, then tapped on the cardboard incase the mouse had found a way to cling to the roof like spider-man. The last thing I wanted to was to take the lid off & have a drenched, angry mouse after me! There was a little more scrabbling, then it was quiet again, so I repeated my slosh & tap technique, but heard nothing else. I slid the cardboard to peer down the hole, still a little afraid of the mouse suddenly jumping out at me, but our task was complete.
When I removed the piece of cardboard we discovered that in the bottom of the garbage can was a piece of cardboard that had been cut to perfectly line the bottom. As we had filled the can with water, that piece of cardboard had floated up creating a scene like that of Rose in the movie "Titanic" where she is floating on the door. The cardboard was not quite buoyant enough to hold the mouse up, but just enough to give her false hope.
We took a picture to send to my Uncle, showing that the job was done. I was tasked with depositing 'Rose' on the compost pile at the back of the yard, then it was time to head back home. More than we bargained for, but not more than we could handle!
Just as I passed through the small town near my cousin's house, a bird fell onto the road right in front of my car & I ran over it... Watch out critters, I'm on a roll!
Does everyone have this kind of madcap adventure when they go to the States? Maybe it's just my family... Who knows, maybe it's ME!
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